Diatribe on chemical exposure during tango- Posted by Omar

Today is the first day of my vacation. I am going camping on the Delaware River with S B:-) She is going to paint up a storm...maybe even in a storm:-O I woke up this morning and my nose started running. Now it is running non-stop and I am halfway through a roll of toilet paper that I am using to blow my nose because I've run out of tissue...where was I last night, oh yeah, tango and now I am covered with various chemical intoxicants from 8 different women. It's like I'm a 5'10" cotton swab taking chemical samples during tandas.
Now I've got to choose between taking an allergy pill and being groggy all day or take a chance that there will be no further escalation of my allergy symptoms after I take a shower. I choose the shower...here goes!
Okay, I'm outta the shower, I'll pray later. If I choose poorly then S B's day will be adversely affected because the next few days are all for her. I promised I'd take her to this particular spot so she could paint for a few days. I'm like her personal riverguide. That means I pretty much do everything for her as I take her down the Delaware River in my canoe to the camping spot. The tent and sleeping bags and all that other gear is all packed in waterproof sacks. I will load the canoe on my van, which is a big task as I get older because it is nearly a hundred pounds and seems to get heavier every year...maybe it's just me.
Anyhow, I've got to get the van loaded, drive to the takeout(the point where we will be getting out of the river), meet S B, take her to the put-in(vice versa), take the canoe off the van, load it with all the gear so it is perfectly balanced so as not to tip over when we go through the rapids of which there are many, paddle us down to the camping area avoiding rocks and eel weirs along the way, unload the canoe, pitch the tent and chairs, make supper, pleasure S B with sweet talk and tender caresses all night long, fend off bears and animals of lesser size, make up lies about all those noises in the woods, pack up everything after two days so it all fits in the canoe and is perfectly balanced so as not to tip us over in the rapids, paddle to the take-out, load the canoe back on the van, drive home, unload the canoe and put away all the gear nice and neat so my house is organized and pleasant to live in. That last part never happens...my house is a mess.
If I am groggy due to the effects of allergy medicine I cannot do all these things and remain a chipper camper for very long. What should be a pleasant two-day outing on the river turns into an unpleasant cohabitation in a shoddy shelter devoid of the amenities and distractions necessary to make this sentence bearable...a visit by a bear would be a welcome distraction at this time.
I try to talk to women about allergens but I feel I am barking up a tree with no raccoon in it. I danced with a girl on Friday who's hairspray triggered an allergic reaction and ended up missing most of an excellent workshop in Stroudsburg on Saturday. In March, one particular woman nearly had me in the hospital. It was an excellent workshop with Steve Cook where I learned how to lead a back boleo between the leaders legs without getting castrated! It took me two weeks to get over that reaction.
It is hard for me to ask a woman to dance. Usually, I have just a few seconds to make my decision based on eye contact or attraction or whatever. If I have to consider the toxic content of a woman's total chemical application, I usually decide not to ask. God made women with sugar and spice and everything nice. Coco Chanel makes his fragrances with Chinese laborers doing everything they can to cut costs. Hairspray is the worst. Nothing is the best.
I dance with a woman at Dance Manhattan who always stinks of sweat. It's a little uncomfortable at first but then I get used to it and we dance many tandas together in the closest embrace possible, with no adverse reactions:-)
It looks like I chose wisely....my nose has stopped running and I am off to vacation where we will tango naked on the riverbank in just our dance shoes...whoooopppeeeeeee!!!!!;-) ;-)